I want to talk about personal power and self discipline….It’s not a popular topic. Everybody wants a magic answer. They want to wave a wand or wiggle their nose and have the job done.
Me too, folks. Me too.
This is at the forefront of my mind for a couple reasons. The first has to do with my oldest daughter, the Princess. The second is hitting home because of my own situation.
The Princess is a hairdresser. She just passed her 4th anniversary at the salon she works; a high-end salon where she apprenticed. I know that she’s my daughter and I see her through rose colored lenses but let me tell you a bit about her.
She’s annoyingly positive, incredibly emotional and was doled out an extra helping of guilt at birth.
She moves through her life trying to avoid making decisions that will make her feel the twisted pangs of guilt. Its her internal compass and she calls me when she has to make the hard decisions. She calls often.
This affliction has manifested in a number of traits such as a ridiculously strong work ethic and a desire to be helpful, supportive and kind.
I can tell ya, she is NOT the poster girl for the beauty industry.
She doesn’t fit in with the typical hairdresser and has, on occasion, been the target for the collective petty bullshit that happens whenever you get a bunch of insecure women in one place.
(I feel that ‘target’ is an ancestral wound gifted from her dad’s side and it’s her responsibility to heal it for herself and every woman that came before her. She agrees and is not happy about it.)
She loves what she does and she loves the people she works for, so she stays. Fortunately, she’s been working from their satellite salon and doesn’t interact with most of the women who target her.
On her 4th anniversary, she sat down with management to look at her numbers and discovered that she has hit the goal to receive her next raise in prices.
This is completely numerical. It has nothing to do with who she is, her work ethic, the quality of her work or how well the owner likes her. This formula is well known and applies to all hairdressers. The percentage of service sales + product sales = a bump in haircut prices.
My daughter busted her ass to earn that bump. She did her job, she scouted new clients, she took extra classes, learned new skills, perfected her techniques, built up her clientele, and promoted the products.
This success was not appreciated by the heard of cackling hens who posited that she only got the raise because she’s favored by the boss.
For a week we heard bits and pieces from a few ally’s and learned that a number of the girls confronted the boss demanding that her prices be reverted back, because it wasn’t fair. Some of the women had been there longer, some had more clients, some weren’t even hairdresser and had nothing to gain by protesting….but hey, herd mentality….
Their demands fell on deaf ears. The boss explained, once again, the process of obtaining a raise and how each of them had the power to do the same.
The Princess isn’t a witch, she doesn’t want the responsibility. She has never asked me for spells, only blessings and positive vibes. I’ve never cast a spell for her, success or otherwise. (I offered to hex the bitches but she turned me down.)
She is focused and disciplined and passionate. She wins.
And she inspires me. She reminds me everyday that Focus, Passion and Discipline are the keys to success; the keys to a happy life.
Going back to personal power and self-discipline. As kids we ‘do’ thing because we’re told to. We do it because if we don’t we’ll get in trouble. I don’t know about you, but most of what I did as a kid, was because it would stop my mom from yelling.
As an adult I didn’t. It was a rebellious thing. All those things I should have been doing for myself, like eating healthy, exercising, tidying up my home, studying my college course work…. I didn’t do that because it’s what the adults told me I had to do and now they weren’t around to make me.
I had to learn the hard way that doing those things would benefit me, they’d make me stronger, they’d make me feel better. They would give me room to focus on the things I’m passionate about. They would take me to the life I dreamed about.
It took me a good 15 years of rebellion before it started to click…
…Don’t laugh at me, everyone gets it in their own time.
So much of the craft is about what we do or don’t do. Intentions, spell work and magic will only get us so far. The rest is the boring mundane everyday things that we don’t really want to do.
Its not about motivation, its about discipline.
The princess recites that like a mantra. You do what needs to be done because it needs to be done. The results will be worth it.
In the Craft, most of the magic performed is done to boost the mundane work (at least in my practice). We set the intention, we focus the energy, light the candle, chant the rhyme, mix the herbs, charge the stones and then we do the work. The boring mundane busy work of reaching your goals.
Day in day out, we do the work that needs to be done. That’s where our personal power lies.
Sometimes the work is directly tied to the goal (The princess recommending products to her clients) and sometimes its not (Her choice to go to the gym everyday). But even if the task isn’t directly linked, It still matters. It’s all connected.
She goes to the gym because it makes her feel good. It helps her anxiety, manages her weight and makes her feel stronger. If she chose not to go to the gym everyday, her anxiety would be through the roof making her edgy and irritable and less able to deal with the stress. She’d be carrying extra weight which might have a negative effect on her self-confidence. She wouldn’t have the strength or stamina to take on the extra client with the 6 hour service.
I’m recognizing all this as we embark on this new journey and lifestyle change.
My sewing machine broke last year. It was 12 years old. It wasn’t a really expensive model and I didn’t sew as often as I wanted to because it couldn’t handle what I wanted it to do. I looked into having it fixed, (I couldn’t find the part I needed online) and it dawned on me that it would be better to save up for a heavy duty sewing machine.
I was half way to my goal when I casually mentioned it on Facebook. My cousin offered me her mothers old sewing machine. My crazy Aunt Joyce was an amazing and creative seamstress, I was humbled by the offer.
So now I’m sitting on extra money with some serious craft store fantasies, knowing that I need to take that money and be responsible with it.
We still have debts to be paid and savings to increase. We’re not going to buy the farm if I waste the money on fabric. (especially when I have two 18 gallon totes full of fabric.)
My passion for a homesteading life has to outweigh my passion for being creative. I have to stay focused and be disciplined. Today it really sucks.
Today, I’m exercising my power, staying focused on my dream, and being disciplined with my resources.
Tonight, I will wave my wand and wiggle my nose and Tomorrow I’ll go to the bank.